My Not So Glamorous Struggles With Lupus

Hubby has jokes. The only part of this that keeps me sane. 💕

Last night was rough. In fact most of yesterday was rough. I mentally broke down multiple times just sobbing like a baby. At my appointment, at my sons appointment, in the car, at home in bed. Just feeling really overwhelmed with everything that's on my plate right now.

Back to back appointments, literally 2-3 a day. Hours of traveling to and from appointments, multiple pending surgeries, on my hand, on my shoulder, on my stomach, on my breasts, more referrals; Dermatology, Gastroenterology, Genetics, Cardiology,

more blood tests, more Scans, physical therapy for me and my husband, kids appointments, kids meds, kids school, husbands appointments, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, there is literally not enough hours in a day.

And by the time I'm finished doing what I have to I am literally exhausted and crying out in pain. I still continue to ask myself why the hell me? I feel like this must be some sort of bad karma bullshit and Gods paying me back for all my stupid younger years. There are literally days I wish I just wouldn't wake up. That would be one less day in excruciating pain. But then I think of my kids and I refuse to be the asshole who does that to them.

But I am physically and mentally exhausted. I wish things would slow down a bit so I could catch my breath. Anyways. Sorry for this long and drawn out cryfest, but I don't know what else to do. I know I'm not the only person out here feeling like this but it is hard. If I can help one person get through their struggles then I know I'm doing something right. Us spoonies really need to stick together 🤞🏻🤞🏻

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